Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Government commits to two-third pints changes

Governments come and governments go and publicans, the ones that are left, just Keep Carrying On, bemused by the perpetual nonsense and rubbish thrown at them by clueless politicians guided by clueless mandarins spurred on by meaningless information and opinion thrown at them by a clueless BBPA. This industry is a shameless shambless. It even reports from RF Martinez while maintaining his ban from this forum.

"Bartender, my good man, oh sorry, you're a woman; please dispense to me with alacrity for my friends a round which consists of four pints of your finest real ale; two two thirds of a pint of your most stout stout; a third of a pint of porter, two 75ml servings of your best Antipodean merlot, a glass of that marvellous Oloroso - why yes thank You a 50ml offering will suffice for that - then I'll have two snowballs for the ladies in the corner, a gill of gin with tonic and ice and a slice for my long suffering wife; what no gill anymore? A 35ml for her then and a large port and lemon for Aunt Maude. What's that? How large is large? You have me stumped there. Let me ask her - oh what multiples do you dispense thereof? Aha! 25ml only; so a large is a regular and a large large is a large is that right? Thank You. Then I'll have a large glass of Pinot Noir, your South African representative please. How large? 175ml please. What? 175ml isn't large but 259ml IS. Make it a bottle then, to avoid confusion; can I have a glass without a line then? And finally three of your house sauvignon blancs; SMALL, thank You."

"And by the way my fine figure of a bartender person - should you not, in line with current government thinking, be discouraging me from buying a round? In Case It Encourages Binge Drinking?"

"Dammit I forgot the DOUBLE tequila slammer."

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