Friday, February 24, 2012

Licensees "Want Answers" Over Pubco-Tenant Relationship


Licensees "want answers" over pubco-tenant relationship

"Dear Ms Ward

Thank you for your letter date blah blah blah.

The answer to your string of ever so tedious questions is that we in Government, being advised by upper middle class toffs and being upper middle class toffs ourselves, simply cannot be bothered to look into the boring pub and beer trade because. Well, because it's just so boring. We drink wine, you see, BIG Tuscans preferably, and wouldn't be seen dead in a pub outside of the House of Commons bars or, at a push, those two endearingly charming hostelries nearby where we go for a photo call when there's a pub / brewing hoohaa / shindig going on and we HAVE to be seen grinning with one of those vulgar and heavy glasses in our hand.

Oh. And besides, you're just an ignorant little ex publican who didn't know how to run a business properly who has to blame everybody else for their failure. BBPA told us that and it seems to accord with all the other irritating, ignorant little people who send us emails and annoying letters suggesting that Government just doesn't know what it's talking about when it comes to the tied pub sector.

I mean, really, these little oiks keep telling us things like: "it's slavery" "we are being bullied systemically" "the pubco is totally abusing the power it has over us through the Tie" "It's a scam" "I have been bankrupted and my family made homeless and now we're living in Council accommodation and costing the taxpayer £670 a week". How could any of this be possible?

Our advisors studied at Cranfield - they know all about this sort of thing - they tell us that this is the 21st century and the sort of things you're telling us are happening simply died out with the Beer Orders.

It's the smoking ban and that silly beer duty escalator we put on tax, because the Health Lobby told us to, that are killing the pub industry. Oh, and, as the pubcos reminded us at the dinner table last week, it's really the stupid, ignorant uneducated lessees who are responsible for their own problems because they didn't put in enough of their own money when they started running the pub industry twenty five years ago. They've only got themselves to blame for making the pub industry the laughing stock of the nation.

Government's official stance now is this Ms Ward:

"If someone is stupid enough to become a Tied Publican in the first place, they DESERVE to go bust'.

Captain's chairs are so old hat. Don't you lot know about Ikea?'

With best wishes, we trust this detailed answer satisfies your curiosity and we now consider this matter closed; like your pub, as it happens."

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