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Monday, February 14, 2011

Enterprise & Punch hike drinks prices

http://www.morningadvertiser.co.uk/forum.ma/SaveGenericPost/95530

JOLLY GOOD CHAPS, LET'S ALL PULL TOGETHER NOW AND BEAT THESE PRICE INCREASES INTO THE LONG GRASS. OOPS. Sorry caps lock on.

"OK you chipper chappies on't shop floor o't' pub trade. To make sure that OUR margins aren't eroded, we're taking this opportunity of putting our price up. It's the way of the world. Take our advice and don't forget to include other increases with our increases and all the other increases you ought to be factoring in RIGHT NOW before you put your prices up again for the second time in 2011 to make sure your ever important margins aren't eroded and your business doesn't suffer... got to keep your eye on the detail now."

"This is not the only advice we're offering all our 'partners' now. NO. No, no: We've devised a neat little 'How to increase your retail prices by 20% without putting the punter off' calculator to make going out of business a little bit less confusing than it might be without our support."

"By the way, a surveyor will be calling you soon, to arrange for a time to look around our - sorry, we mean YOUR - premises to get a schedule of dilapidations done."

"Should you be worried? Worried? NO not at ALL. No need to worry, nice of you to ask though what with all these changes going on internally, business is fine thanks. We're making as much as we were before the recession and the programme of disposals is going ahead better than you might think. Worry? No not at all. Just concentrate on working longer hours and keeping your prices down and everything will be alright when the world economy recovers."

Oh and one last thing: Did we tell you? We are looking at ways of stimulating the Big Society economic model to be adopted across the pub industry. Great idea that one, yes we're always full of great ideas aren't we? We think there may be room for people like you to become charities and to become more tax efficient by encouraging your staff to work voluntarily. Great idea isn't it? Do you like it"

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