Monday, August 24, 2009

Search on for safer pub pint glass

The only safe glass is a glass that's not a glass. Ludicrous ludicrosity. Just imagine the guffaws toff civil servants are having coming up with ideas for safer drinking vessels:

'What can we recommend, no legislate, people to use instead of glasses? They use stainless steel in some parts of the world - doesn't shatter. Lasts a long time. Can be recycled... How about pigs' bladders or maybe bamboo? I've seen bamboo cups before - with pencils in them as an office tidy. Or maybe disposable plastic sachets with a valve mouthpiece to prevent spillage - in case of accidental drowning? Or even household gloves? You know, when they're filled with beer they look a bit like an udder, you tie the wrist like a balloon and cut off the tip of little finger to drink out of. What about weights & measures though? Oh stuff it, let's just stick to waxed paper cups'.

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