Monday, May 11, 2009

Enterprise boss blasts 'misleading' Fair Pint

* By Ewan Turney
* 11/05/2009 08:00

"How to impede progress - a simple guide" (by Lars Ploughman):

Ho hoho. Ha haha. He hehe.

Seem's like Ted Tuppen's been taking note of Lars Ploughman (, brushing up on his oxymorons and the precise application of conviction mendacity...

"The world is moving ahead with breathtaking speed. Evolution. Innovation. Projects. Ideas. The difference between progress and status quo could very well be you.

Use this simple three step guide to halt progress in its tracks whenever it surfaces:

1. First time you hear about a new initiative, ignore it.

2. The second time you hear about it, ignore it but start thinking of reasons that it should be stopped.

3. Third time, fight it with well-prepared arguments; prove that it does not make sense or it is impossible (hint: it only has to be impossible in your organisation, not everywhere).

These steps are especially powerful if you have skills that would help the initiative along; the arguments you have prepared may even serve to boost your reputation in the field. Or if you are a manager.

The process has proven successful in stopping 98.6% of innovation. I have heard suggestions on how to increase the success rate but I am ignoring them."

We hear TinkerTed ringing fairy bells down the bottom of the garden... and all is well. Night Night Wooden Tops.

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