Sunday, May 10, 2009

'Anti-beer tie claims are "misleading", says Enterprise boss'

10 May, 2009

It's a wonder Ted Tuppen hasn't set up a knitwear company he's been pulling so much wool over so many eyes for so long! You have to laugh out loud with admiration for the depth, conviction and consummate professionalism of his mendacity. Some of his oxymorons such as the tie “is the best unbranded franchise in the world" and "because you are tied, you pay substantially less for your rent" are marvellous for their soundbite plausibility yet simultaneous unproveability and subsequent meaninglessness.

Analysis of the process Tuppen has been adopting very publicly over the past year is common during times of upheaval and progress which is very well described by Lars Ploughman. Read and hear bells ringing loud!:

"How to impede progress, a simple three step guide

The world is moving ahead with breathtaking speed. Evolution. Innovation. Projects. Ideas. The difference between progress and status quo could very well be you.

Use this simple three step guide to halt progress in its tracks whenever it surfaces:

1. First time you hear about a new initiative, ignore it.

2. The second time you hear about it, ignore it but start thinking of reasons that it should be stopped.

3. Third time, fight it with well-prepared arguments; prove that it does not make sense or it is impossible (hint: it only has to be impossible in your organisation, not everywhere).

These steps are especially powerful if you have skills that would help the initiative along; the arguments you have prepared may even serve to boost your reputation in the field. Or if you are a manager.

The process has proven successful in stopping 98.6% of innovation. I have heard suggestions on how to increase the success rate but I am ignoring them."

Ding Dong?

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