Tuesday, October 16, 2012

When Only the 'C' Word Will Do.

When I was at art college I lived in Chicago while I was on an exchange programme and shared a great place with two other guys - Americans - it was a huge garage with a flat roof and two floors. A brilliant space. We all fancied one woman in particular at college. She was called Sherrie. Yes I know.

Anyhow, one day I'd seen this delightful young woman and got a date lined up to go see some art show or something edifying like that. I was fairly excited and told the other guys about it that night; say it was three days hence. Michael and Tom, my best buddies were totally impressed and wanted to know how come I'd managed to 'catch' her etc. Michael particularly was perturbed that the Limey had got a break with the 'chicklet'.

So. The next night I came back from college and there was Michael Hernandez, as I say, until that moment one of my best friends ever, had somehow contrived to bring Sherrie home with him - and he was all over her in the living room, slimily sort of almost groping her, while having a CUP OF TEA for fuck's sake. She looked a lot uncomfortable about it and he, the fucker, kept winking and smiling at me when she wasn't looking. It was very irritatingly weird and well I was a bit, well, kind of shocked and very pissed off.

Tom came home and was visibly shocked as well - in the same vein as was I.

Well to cut a long story when Sherrie left I asked Michael what the fuck was going on? And he played as if he had no idea what I was on about - Tom backed me up 100% as we both had a go at him about it - doing that on a friend and all that juvenile stuff and he completely blanked the situation as if no particular boundary of companionship had been breached at all.

After a while I said:

"Michael, cut the crap it's very simple really. You just behaved like a total CUNT"

That's all I said.

It was if I'd shot him.

He looked stunned, the blood ran from his face and he almost staggered like he'd been punched. And then he left the room, went to his own bedroom then left the house and we didn't see him for two days.

Tom said: "You have really offended him. No one here EVER says the C word unless it's REALLY serious".

Hehehehe. I hope to make it more accessible.

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