"Brulines in talks with Trading Standards"

http://www.thepublican.com/story.asp?storycode=63877

That'll be a very interesting conversation then won't it: "Why are you giving us such a hard time?"

"The equipment your company employs has no formal status or recognition as an accurate monitor of liquid volumes dispensed through it. It is not compliant with Weights and Measures Act 1985 standards of measurement - or indeed any other recognised accredited standards of volume monitoring. Nevertheless your clients use volume discrepancies supplied by your company as the sole evidential basis for levying substantial fines against their tenants who are accused of buying beer outside of contract."

"But but out equipment is nice and shiny and has lots of tubes and it earns us enormous amounts of money and allows us to live to standards we never even imagined before setting up this company. It's not fair that you're giving us and the shiny equipment a hard time. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair."

"Get it calibrated and show us how consistently accurate it is and how unambiguous its results are and we can talk then".