Thursday, January 29, 2009

ON the point of Mr Tuppen, he's taller in real life than you'd imagine from photographs. So is Paul Charity.

On the point of Mr Tuppen's comment about 'only 19' handing keys back - this apparently flippant insensitive missive is simply a reflection of his general demeanour toward business and people. Mr Tuppen is not a pub operator, he is an accountant. Pubs in a business plan are, to accountants, units. Units are to accountants things which can be spread out over a page or two and turned into calculations which are designed to translate into a financial return against an investment made (ideally, if you are an accountant, that would be an investment made with someone else's money which will return more to you than to the investor, but keep the investor happy with their return). Pubs are units. Pubs happen to be run by people but they still are units. The keys being handed back is an irritation - another unit stalled and for a while cash is not syphoning from it into pubco coffers.

"Only 19" sounds like not a lot. Only 19 in 28 days is more than one pub every other day. At this rate that is at least 180 people handing their keys back to one pubco in a year (statistically insignificant to a traditional accountant of course) - add all the other pubcos into the numbers and that's maybe getting on for 500 sets of keys going back to freeholders every year - and this is BEFORE the going got really tough. AND let's NOT talk about other forms of pub business failure. NO FAR too distasteful. - like forfeiture, revenue, utilities foreclosing (pubcos like utility companies to cut pubs off; it's much easier to get a tenant out then, for obvious reasons, and the pubbywubbypuppyco don't get the blamey wamey).


KEYS being handed back then will make the flying keys scene in Harry Potter look like the picnic at hanging rock in a brewery yard.

There will be a LOT of casualties, believe me, it's only logical. Innit Ted - lots of action on deferred revenue payments not being met before the new financial year, Bye bye pubs. Bye bye pubcos. Hello happiness I think I'm going to cry.

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